The Hobby Section (Miserable Tales)

The autumn cleaning continues! It’s quite interesting finding things I’d forgotten I’d written. As soon as I started reading The Hobby Section I remembered writing it one evening to my friend – the dashing Mr Fisher. I don’t really recall how it all came about but as so many other things I’ve written, it was a joke. I figured I might as well throw it in with the other stories in the Miserable Tales series so anyone who wants to can share in dear Walter’s dilemmas.


The Hobby Section

Walter inhaled the scent of old books and stale air. The days Subject five worked downstairs were his favourites. Libraries simply weren’t what they used to be—kids screaming, students lazing about, not to mention the computers littering the place. Libraries were made for books, but people had clearly forgotten that. The level below ground was all right, though. The archives to his right, a reading room to his left, and straight ahead was Subject five stacking and rearranging books on a bookshelf.

Subject five bent and reached for something on the bottom shelf showing off his pert arse. Walter groaned as his cock started to fatten. It was time to bring Subject five home.

He took a few steps farther into the hobby section, reaching down to rub himself through his tailored trousers with a trembling hand. Soon he would have Subject five struggling and whimpering underneath him.

Walter squeezed his eyes shut, forcing himself to remove his hand before he gave in to the urge of releasing himself from the shrinking cotton prison.

Subject five was making it harder than it should be. He was, of course, aware of Walter watching, the little tease. Why else would he fall to his knees and wiggle that fine arse in the air? His muttering and reaching for something behind the books on the bottom shelf was all for show. Walter knew Subject five was toying with him and yet he found himself panting like a mindless teenager.

There would be payback once they got home.

Subject five didn’t know it yet, but Walter had prepared a room for him. It was right next to Subject two’s. He had decorated Subject two’s room in bright colours, shelf after shelf of children’s books. It was perfect for him since he’d worked in the children’s section before Walter had the chance to fetch him. Subject five deserved something altogether different. The shelves in his room were filled with crafting books—the hobby section, that was where he’d first laid eyes on Subject five, that was where he belonged.

“Erm, excuse me.”

Walter whirled around and saw a young woman completely dressed in black with blood red hair and dramatic makeup. He scowled as she looked him up and down. How dare she interrupt?

Subject five got to his feet with a smile on his face. “Yes?”

“Did you know that old dude was watching your butt while stroking himself?”

Subject five gave him a horrified look, his eyes dropping to Walter’s tenting trousers before he took a hurried step away.

“Just thought I’d let you know.” The woman shrugged and reached for a book about knitting before turning to leave. “Check the surveillance tape; I’ve seen him here before.” She nodded towards a camera in the ceiling and slipped away. Walter started sweating, his erection dwindling at the sight of the camera. When had they installed cameras?

He needed to get out of there. A perfectly nice library ruined! Subject five would have to wait. He’d dreamt about collecting him from within the library, but he’d have to rethink his plan. Walter would simply have to wait for a day he could take him from the car park.

He hurried away, taking the stair two steps at a time until he reached ground level. There, he took a right turn as soon as he made it out the doors.

Subject six’s library didn’t have cameras.

Apart From You – A Horror Flash (Miserable Tales)

I was doing a bit of an early autumn cleaning on my laptop and found a flash. Apart From You was part of Queer Sci Fi’s Annual Flash Fiction Contest (ended up in a fifth place) 2015. And since it’s such a happy little tale I thought I’d throw it in among the other happy tales in the Miserable Tales Series.

It’s only 300 words long so I won’t bother putting it up on any retailers, but if you want to you can read it here.


Apart From You

Don felt light, free. He hit the button on the radio and danced along with the pop tunes. In the middle of a pirouette, he opened the fridge door but stopped short as he saw a bowl of minced meat. Not even meatloaf could ruin this fine day; it might even make it better. Travis loved meatloaf.

He took out the bowl before glancing at the clock. Where had this day gone? He couldn’t remember doing anything. His heart sped up. Apart from getting up this morning, he couldn’t recall any part of the day.

Don tried to shrug it off, but the lightness in his chest was gone. He forced himself to breathe and went to get the dried bread crumbs out of the pantry.

The handle was sticky in his hand. He pressed it down, ignoring the way the hairs on his neck stood on edge. The light flicked on, and he steeled himself.

His shelves were discoloured. A dark brownish red liquid was everywhere. The pantry resembled a butcher’s shop. Cuts of meat were hanging from the ceiling. The rusty smell made him wrinkle his nose. Don’s eyes fell on Travis wedding ring. It shone brightly in the light of the lamp, still attached to a hand—Travis’ hand.

The sharp taste of bile took over Don’s mouth; he had to swallow it down. What was Travis’ hand doing there?

He took a step back, closed the pantry door, and raised his hand to rub his forehead. His fingers were stained, his nails dirty. Sweat coated his skin. How could he have missed how soggy his clothes were? A splatter of dark red was all over him.

Then he started laughing. What had he been thinking? Meatloaf? There was already a steak in the oven.

 

The Lords of Lettuce

A couple of days ago The Lords of Lettuce, a sequel to The Maddest of Men, became available on Amazon. I, of course, meant to write a blog post about it and I, apparently, didn’t. So here we are, The Lords of Lettuce is available, yay!

In the fair city of Carona society is falling apart. Drug lords are ruling the streets, the police are corrupt, and Grayham and Creed, our main characters, aren’t the finest men ever having lived on this Earth.

When Creed’s friend suddenly goes missing the two men have to work together to find him before it’s too late. The search will take them into parts of the city where they aren’t welcome and where Grayham, as Cham’s right-hand man, can’t be seen.

I love writing this series. I love the freedom that comes with writing deranged characters who make up their own reality, decide for themselves what’s right and what’s wrong, and what needs to be done to get where they want.

If you like characters with enhanced capabilities, characters living on the wrong the side of the law, and think a little violence might help to solve a situation check it out. Though I storngly suggest you read The Maddest of Men before you look at The Lords of Lettuce or you won’t understand much of the plot…chances are you won’t anyway.


Old tunnels, lurking threats, and a race against time.

Creed wants his happily ever after with Grayham. They’ve faked his death and it should be as simple as that, right? But before his body double has had time to cool, there’s a knock on the door, and it looks like he and Grayham’s troubles are just getting started.

For reasons no one understands, a young boy has come to ask their help. He isn’t a normal boy, he’s a meta, able to see mere moments into the future, and to see how every action alters that future. He knows men are out to get him, he also knows Creed’s friend is in danger.

Grayham does not want to hunt for some wayward agent. He couldn’t care less if the agents of The Bureau of Whatever killed each other off, but then there is this look on Creed’s face, and he knows he’ll do everything he can to make him smile again. Being around Creed has made him soft, and it’s a weakness he can’t afford. But weakness or not, he’ll do anything for Creed.

Together Grayham and Creed set out to find Sal Minotti before it’s too late. They search the city of Carona, but he’s nowhere to be found, sadly that can’t be said about the gang members from the eastern side.